


something new

by flymetomanchester



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 14:33:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18994537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flymetomanchester/pseuds/flymetomanchester
Summary: phil doesn’t shave for a bit, but he isn’t sure to keep it.





	something new

Phil stood in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. Boy, how over the years his reflection has changed. Not that it was a bad thing. Of course, as he got older things would change. For the better that is.

His confidence over the last year and a half had boosted tremendously. He had gone from feeling so low about himself to feeling like he’s on cloud 9. Now he dresses in things he likes and doesn’t care. He styles himself how he wants to and he doesn’t think twice about it. Flannel and ripped jeans? He’s going for it. The one thing he doesn’t do though is let Dan choose his outfits. Because to Phil, Dan has some pretty questionable fashion choices.

That’s not to say he doesn’t go to Dan for advice, because he most certainly does. If he’s feeling a bit timid about something, sometimes he will go to Dan and ask his opinion. Whether he actually listens to Dan or not is a different conversation. One he particularly avoids, especially with Dan.

But the game changer for Phil was when he changed his hair. It was almost as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders and he was set free. He didn’t have to worry that someone would comment on him being an adult with a hairstyle he had as a late teen and the entire way through his 20s. Sometimes change was good.

Phil ran his hand over his neck slightly, feeling the stubble beneath his fingers. He hadn’t shaved in a while and so he was starting to get facial hair. Yeah, he and Dan had over the years made jokes about them not being able to grow facial hair. But now that it was a reality, he didn’t know what to think.

He looked, good. Good, yeah. Was that the word to use? No, maybe not.

There was something in the backing of his mind nagging at him to keep it. There was just something inside of him that enjoyed it. And he was okay with that. Yet, something inside him told him to shave it. There was no point in him actually keeping the facial hair he was growing was there? It would make no difference really, it would just be a small change. Just like when he ditched the fringe and restyled his hair.

A little facial hair wouldn’t make a difference. Would it?

“I wonder what Dan thinks,” he thought to himself. Maybe Dan would help him with whatever he decided. Was it too much? Was it not enough?

Lately, Phil just felt like he wasn’t enough. A lot of people were dismissing the work he was doing and it hurt. Of course, he didn’t show anyone and kept that to himself, but it was hurtful. He didn’t have any answers to give anyone, which is what he knew they wanted, and to some the videos he made were nothing. But he spent a lot of time making them. At least someone enjoyed them out there. But would keeping the facial hair sway some of the ones who still enjoyed his videos opinions?

Rubbing his eyes, he turned the bathroom light off and headed out to the lounge where Dan was. Dan was writing on his laptop, what about was a mystery to Phil as he never asked about it, but he was doing it more often these days.

Sitting on the sofa beside Dan, he leaned into him. It wasn’t odd for the two to show affection towards each other. Neither minded really, it felt nice sometimes. Just to know they could lean on the other when they needed. Or just because they missed intimacy.

Dan looked over at him, smiling slightly before going back to his laptop.

“You gonna keep it?” he asked, “the hair that is.”

Phil shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to, but I don’t.”

Dan closed his laptop and shuffled, turning to look at Phil. He noticed Phil was wearing one of his shirts, which at this point wasn’t odd. Whenever Phil wasn’t filming, or there wasn’t a chance they wouldn’t be seen in public, he was wearing Dan’s clothes. Mainly because Phil was running out and too lazy to do laundry; and because he comfier clothes, as Phil would say.

“I think it looks good, you look your age. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it suits you well.”

“What if no one else does?”

“Does it matter what they think,” Dan asked, “It’s your face, or do you not know that?”

Phil laughed slightly and shoved him playfully. “Of course I know that you spork. I just - I don’t know.”

He watched as Dan cocked his brow in confusion.

“You don’t know?”

Phil shook his head. “People already don’t take me seriously now that everything is on a break this year. What if this makes it worse?”

Sighing, Dan shook his head. “Phil, what you do doesn’t matter. It affects no one else but yourself. If you thinking to keep the start of your uh beard and all, if you wanna call it that, do it.”

“Yeah, but -“

“No buts.” Dan cut him off. “You do what you want okay. Not what anyone else wants.”

Phil bit his lip and nodded slightly. He could keep it if he wanted, or shave it if he wanted. But he didn’t know what he wanted.

“Would taking a selfie be wrong?”

“No, no. It may boost your confidence. I do it all the time.”

“What when you buy new clothes and have a fashion show?”

Dan laughed and pushed him. “Shut up rat.”

Phil nodded and bit his lip again. “Okay, okay. You’re right.”

Later that day Phil couldn’t take the photo. He just couldn’t. There was something holding back that he couldn’t figure out. Dan was making dinner, the two decided on Mexican food but didn’t want to order out. So he was making it while Phil was editing a video. He couldn’t focus, he just kept worrying about what everyone else was thinking.

“If you keep stressing like that you’re gonna give yourself wrinkles,” Dan said, carrying two plates in. He sat one on the coffee table in front of Phil and sat beside him. “Still worried?”

Phil sighed and nodded. “What if no one likes it?”

“You thought the same about changing your hair up Phil. But everyone loves it.”

“I- yeah, you’re right.”

“Just think of it that way okay? And everything will be fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! if you want you can reblog this on tumblr [here!](https://rwdaf.tumblr.com/post/185187862580/something-new-phil-doesnt-shave-for-a-bit-but-he) or if you wanna say hi, find me [@rwdaf](https://rwdaf.tumblr.com)


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